Monday 18 May 2009

25. You're only 25 for God's sake. You don't need a boyfriend.

It's hard to term 8 weeks of unemployment as action packed. But somehow I've managed to while away the days. Taking on board Kosta's advice to "fill your days", I honest to God don't know how I managed to hold down a full time job as well as flirt with the ridiculous as often and as wantonly as I do.
Highlights have included a brief hospitalisation, an interview in a Kripsy Kreme donut shop and a brief dalliance with a session musician with a penchant for surgical gloves.........
Aside from aforementioned high-jinx, I also turned 25. For someone whose emotional and indeed social development stalled at 17, this was something of a landmark and not one I was keen to embrace. "Ay me," I lamented on the eve of my anniversaire, "25 and no job - how depressing." A well-meaning, yet misguided friend tried to be reassuring, "Don't worry about not having a job - you don't have a house, a car or a boyfriend either." A brief message to Kosta, waxing lyrical on the parlous state of my life inexplicably ended up being sent to my entire inbox, and I spent the early hours of my 25th birthday fielding calls from concerned friends who were convinced I was about to do myself a mischief with a packet of Lemsip.
Attempts to reclaim my youth through the medium of a bouncy castle resulted only in a strained hip and a hangover that could have easily felled a small hippo. Initial thoughts of staging next years extravaganza at a Lazer Quest have been put on hold for now.
The job hunt was truly a low point. Realising you are essentially qualified for nothing in a recession is truly humbling experience. Lofty expectations quickly crumbled, which resulted in the interview in Krispy Kreme where a TERRIFYING woman who had obviously never been introduced to tweezers nor indeed the notion of top lip bleaching beseeched me to sell to her. "Sell me a wall mounting!" she cried. I also cried (inside).
However, I've managed to triumph over adversity and secure a new permanent position...... obviously I see no long term potential in it, given I have lied to the majority of my friends as I can't bear to admit I am entering back into an arena which so callously spat me out but 2 months ago...... alas, as Big Jim has always advised, "Pride won't pay the rent".